Welcome knot4me! I'm so happy you've managed to reconstruct your life after such traumatic experiences. It made me very angry to read your story and how the elders reproved you after the loss of your husband. What a complete lack of love! I'm still a little pissed off with this. Yet I can see that you're moving on and that's the point. But there must be days where it all comes flooding back and you feel like killing these men. But perhaps I'm just projecting here.
All the best to you and yours. I look forward to your posts.
tp
tall penguin
JoinedPosts by tall penguin
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34
another recovering exjw....
by knot4me ini was sooooo happy to find this site the other day.
i have been free and happy for a little over 6 years now.
i too grew up jw, pioneered, blah,blah blah, until around the time i moved out.
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tall penguin
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Please don`t read if you are a current witness and have doubts.
by void inwell i am new to the board, i have faded away from the truth lies about 6 years ago.
it still has an effect on me today, so much so i gave the warning in the title.
this is because one of the things drilled into me, was that its far worse to lead a member of the flock away.
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tall penguin
Welcome void. I thought your post was beautifully expressed. Sincerity over-rides spelling and grammar any day!
I look forward to hearing more from you.
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Did being a witness make you lose your social skills?
by AK - Jeff ini am out of the borg now about two years - but can say that i still have no social group in my life to replace them.
i participate in several activities that i consider social in nature - this board as example.
i have some 'acquaintances', but no real social structure in my life.
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tall penguin
Hi Jeff,
I see this as a common problem both in and out of the organization. Learning to relate only to those that have a similar mind-set is not mature social skills. So even those in the org aren't what I would consider sociologically mature. In fact, they are often very stunted.
Once one leaves the org, that patterning is still in place which makes it challenging to relate to people with a different world view.
I disassociated a month ago. I've met some really great people since, people I could consider true friends in time. Yet I find it incredibly difficult to really bond with these people right now. I feel a bit shell-shocked, like I'm not even interested in close relationships.
What I'm finding even stranger is that I don't really miss most of the people I left behind in the org. I can count on one hand the number of people who I really felt close to. The rest were "friends" by means of our common religion and nothing more. I wonder sometimes if it's normal to not miss people you've known your whole life. I just feel that our bond was so superficial and so conditional that there's no real loss.
Anyone feel similarly? Or am I just stunted like the rest of them?
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Is it "OK" to take pictures at the Kingdom Hall?
by JH ina long time ago, when i was just starting in the "troof", i brought my camera to the hall, and i was taking pictures of just about anything there.
i love taking pictures, so i wanted a few pictures of sexy sisters of my fellow witnesses and a few pictures of the hall to show my family.. but, i had the impression that it wasn't ok to do that.
i felt as if being new to the org, that they tolerated it so i never did that again.. i know that in certain places, like government buildings or military installations, you're not allowed to take pictures.
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tall penguin
There was a sister in my hall who was the resident photographer and would take pictures of every single visitor and speaker that stepped through the kh doors. She would also take a congregation picture once a year up on the stage, in addition to taking pictures at every congrgation function and party. She was incredibly annoying after a while. The pictures were kept in photo albums downstairs at the kh.
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Does the sadness ever leave?
by pc inhi everyone, haven't posted for awhile.. i am probably just rambling tonight( a few glasses of great red wine) so pardon me.
every once and awhile i just have such great sadness that begins to permiate my thoughts.not just for me but for everyone who has walked this path.
i happen to have a pretty great life, but sometimes this deep sadness rises up in me for all the things that might have been.
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tall penguin
trevor,
I love that Auden poem!
pc,
I hear ya! I've come to realize that the sadness, like other emotions, comes in waves. Eventually you learn to ride the waves like a master surfer! Sometimes you lose your balance and take a dive in the water. And sometimes you ride so well that you think that maybe, just maybe you'll be a good surfer after all.
Grief is a very deep emotion. It takes time to heal. And you're never "there." It never goes away fully. Hopefully, over time, there is some sun in between the rain clouds. And eventually, I do believe, the tears give way to joy.
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The story of my life (part 2)
by onacruse inso, my life as a jw has been cast, before i can speak or understand even one word.
my folks relegated their parental authority to the wts (they told me that, explicitly), and were just tickled pink to see me grow up in accordance with the expectations that they themselves had adopted: the end is near, there is no need to worry about anything in the future, but just to devote my life to the "cause of the truth.".
but this is where the cognitive dissonance comes into play.
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tall penguin
Riveting!!! Can't wait for Part 3!
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Societies worse off 'when they have God on their side'
by candidlynuts inthe times .
interesting.... but not suprising.. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/printfriendly/0,,1-2-1798944-2,00.html.
societies worse off 'when they have god on their side'.
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tall penguin
Will the dubs be using this as "proof" that the turn on "false religion" is near. Of course, they don't realize that they're just as much a part of the problem, now do they?
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witness relatives
by Ellie in.
my mum and older brother came over today, i don't think my brother would have come only my mum needed him to drive her, she only came to see my 8 week old daughter for the first time.. they stayed all of 10 minutes, then went to visit my sister who is still a witness, came back a couple of hours later, my brother stayed in the car while my mum said that my daughter is beautiful and then they left, without so much as a goodbye from my brother.. what an evil religion it is that makes people behave like that towards their own family, and i'm one of the lucky ones because i doubt a lot of you would even get that from their families.
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tall penguin
I recently read a quote (don't remember who it's from):
"Never allow a problem to be solved to become more important than a person to be loved."
I shared this quote with an elder who was like a spiritual father to me in my final email months before I disassociated. I got no response to my email.
Your story Ellie reminds me of this complete lack of love carried out in the name of God. I understand your pain and disappointment. Hugs to you and yours.
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"Brave New World" -- have you read it?
by AlmostAtheist ini've heard alot about this book, but i've never read it.
today we happened upon a yard sale and there it was!
so i grabbed it.. i can't put the thing down.
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tall penguin
And don't forget "The Chrysalids" by John Wyndham.
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Hi New Here!
by weinermcgee inhi folks whats up?.
i grew up as a strict jw until my early 20's when an event happened that made me start thinking for myself, thank goodness.
what i mean by strict was i think most of you will undertsand that i really believed in what i was doing, baptised at the age of 13, seriously considered bethal, pioneered and was offered to be a ministerial servent.
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tall penguin
Welcome to the board weinermcgee. Happy to have you here. I joined about a month ago just after I disassociated myself after 25 years as a jw. This forum has been very helpful as a sounding board for the "mental anguish" you talk about. Enjoy!
And feel free to share whatever you like. We're listening.
tp